“La vida aprieta pero no ahoga”
Life squeezes, but it does not drown. Or, as we know it as, life will only throw at you what you can handle. Now, I’m not too sure how accurate that is, but it certainly seems fitting for this.
A new, new beginning?
This is such a strange post to me. How can I already be writing about a new beginning, when this still is our new beginning? I wasn’t sure if I should write this. But, I decided, for me, I needed to. I needed to let it out, I needed to talk about it and I needed to be honest. This week has been filled with stress, arguments, fighting and a whole ton more stress.
Nothing is a walk in the park.
It’s inevitable. Life comes with struggles. Life comes with difficulties and life will kick you when you’re down. Just when things start to go on the up, life will do all it can to drag you back down. Isn’t that just sod’s law? Earlier this week, our landlord decided she wanted her apartment back, at the end of the month. The place we had all worked so hard to make our home. The place we had all put work into and spent so long getting to how we want. Sure, it wasn’t The Ritz and of course, we had our complaints. But it was ours.
The immediate shock
The immediate shock is probably the worst. The kind of crying that makes your chest and eyes hurt. The sort where you cry so much that your face remains blotchy for the next six hours and the children in your class can’t help but ask what is wrong. The kind of shock where you physically can’t shower, or eat, or sleep or live. The kind of shock where you are so shocked that your head just can’t get around what it needs to do, or how on earth you’re going to figure this out.
Was this our time?
We thought this was it. We thought our time had come to an end. There were messages “it’s been a good run” or “at least we gave it a go.” In life, you can give up or you can fight. So we fought. We didn’t fight to stay, we had lost that battle, but I think we have won the war. We searched and searched for apartments, we stayed up until the sun came back up, we tired ourselves out, and we saved every euro we had to put towards a deposit. We were so lucky to have family members that were able to help us out, and we’re eternally grateful.
Right now, I’m writing in my ‘current location’ I can’t call it my home anymore. It’s not my home. That title was stripped from us. But, in a week or so, we will have the keys and we will be moving into our shiny new apartment. An apartment that boasts views of the beach, the pink sunsets, the bigger pool, the garden. Even though nothing is packed, and clothes are still scattered in the wardrobe and the decorations are still on show, I feel like we’re ready.
Ready for a new chapter
So this is it, the place that gave us so many summer memories, so many christmasses, so many happy times will no longer be ours. Instead, it will be a hub for holidaymakers, or first-time renters, or a retired couple who want to live by the sea. Whoever that may be, I wish you all the best. I hope you realise this apartment was a place filled with love and happiness and that is how I hope we all remember it. Before it became bitter and before it surpassed its time. This was our first home.
“Some infinities are bigger than other infinities.” – John Green
I’m thankful for our own little infinity within a numbered amount of time here. We made this our home and now it is time to say goodbye.
Thank you –
This week has been hard, really hard, but I’m thankful for every single person who has been there for us. I’m thankful for a fiance who can balance out the stress, someone who can make me laugh when I’m in tears. I’m thankful for my Mum and Dad being on the end of a phone call and helping us out when we needed it most. I’m thankful for Marta, translating hours worth of voice notes and messages and pretending like it didn’t inconvenience her at all. I’m thankful for Amy for checking in and reminding me that positivity is key. I’m thankful for Rio and his endless cuddles and licking up my tears whenever they fell. I’m thankful to my Nan and Grandad and Oliver. I’m thankful to Alex’s mum. I’m thankful to Ruben for finding us this new beginning. I’m thankful to every other friend who has checked in and supported us. I am so grateful that we have a good family and friends network that has surrounded us with positivity. So I guess this has turned into a thankful post, anybody would think it’s thanksgiving!
And on that note, I present to you, our new home*.
Until next time,
*Am I just overly emotional, or, is it so cute that the yellow building on the right is our old building so I can look out of our new window and see our first home?